It's been almost a month since my last update....but it's been such a stressful month. Emily got up to 12 hours on her c-pap and then got a little snotty in her trach so they backed off and let her get over that before they started her up again. Now she's back up to 8 hours a day and still doing great. My friend Treena and I went up to see her yesterday and she's so beautiful....I miss her so much! I gave her a bath and did her trach care when we got there and of course tickled her tons. Her smile is amazing. She has been scratching herself on her belly more. No one really knows why she does it but her belly and chest looked pretty bad. Treena picked out her dress and I painted her nails and put a piggy tail on top of her head. It's really scary up there right now with all the swine flu. It's a serious thing there. Seems like everywhere we looked people were wearing masks. They've quarantined off part of one of the floors for the swine flu and the ER was full of tons more. I'm really terrified of Emily being there around all that. I won't take Bubba there again, infact they've made a new rule for the time being that no visitors under the age of 18. That's fine with me. The social worker told us that she has been calling around trying to get sis a bi-pap machine and no one wants to supply her with that either. I am so upset about that, I couldn't put it into words (no good words anyways) I decided to write a letter to anyone and everyone that I could think of that might be able to help. So I did and sent a picture of Sis first born and now along with this blog. I sent one to Jay Nixon, Kenny Hulshof, Rachel Bringer, Ron Levy, Hannibal Courier Post, Quincy Herald Whig, Christopher Bond, Clair McCaskill and the social worker sent it to half a dozen medical supply companies. I just pray that God touches one of these people, that someone hear my plea and do their small part in bringing my daughter home. It is so much harder for me to leave her now, knowing she doesn't really need to be there, she could be at home with us every day. When she needed to be there I was ok with it but I'm not ok with it now. I'm trying to keep my cool on the outside but I'm screaming on the inside. I can't understand how people would not want to help someone in our situation. I don't understand at all. I can gaurantee if they could walk in my shoes for a while they would have a very different outlook. I don't understand how the state can come in your house and take your kids away from you but they can't step in and help bring one home. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME GET MY DAUGHTER HOME!!!!!